A quiet hospice room can change in seconds when a patient suddenly begins speaking to someone the family cannot see. Neal K. Shah, co-founder and CEO of CareYaya Health, has spoken publicly about a particularly emotional pattern he says hospice caregivers sometimes notice during a person’s final hours. Even patients in their 80s or 90s may begin reaching toward someone or calling out a familiar name from childhood. Families already dealing with medical decisions, insurance questions, and the emotional weight of saying goodbye can be startled by the experience. Shah says loved ones should understand that unusual dreams and visions near death are frequently described in hospice settings. But the specific word he says caregivers hear repeatedly carries an especially powerful meaning.
Researchers have also studied end-of-life dreams and visions. In a 2014 hospice study led by physician and neurobiologist Dr. Christopher Kerr, most of the 59 patients in the final sample reported at least one dream or vision, and nearly all described those experiences as feeling real; deceased relatives and friends were among the most common figures reported. Later reviews have likewise found that these experiences can provide comfort as death approaches. For relatives sitting at the bedside, that knowledge can make a confusing moment feel less frightening. And according to Shah, the person many dying patients appear to reach for—even when that person has been gone for decades—is someone they knew before almost anyone else.
Families facing hospice care are often handling far more than grief. There may be an attorney discussing an estate, insurance paperwork on the kitchen table, questions about a mortgage, an investment account that needs attention, or even court documents connected to a loved one’s affairs. Yet those practical concerns can suddenly feel distant when someone near death begins calling for a parent. Shah says the word he frequently hears described is “Mum”—or, in American usage, “Mom.” He suggests that deeply rooted memories of safety and early attachment may help explain why a dying person reaches back toward the mother who cared for them, although that explanation should be viewed as his interpretation rather than a proven neurological rule. Research by Kerr and colleagues supports the broader observation that deceased loved ones commonly appear in end-of-life dreams and visions and that such experiences often become more comforting as death nears. Shah’s advice is equally simple: when someone calls for a deceased mother or reaches toward an unseen loved one, correcting them may not be the most comforting response.
Instead, Shah encourages relatives to remain present and respond gently, allowing the person to experience whatever reassurance the moment may be providing. That approach is consistent with research suggesting end-of-life dreams and visions can carry profound emotional meaning rather than merely being dismissed as confusion. Nobody can know exactly what another person is experiencing in those final hours, and not every patient will have such dreams, visions, or conversations. Still, for families who witness a parent, spouse, or grandparent suddenly calling for their own mother after decades apart, knowing that similar experiences have been documented may offer some comfort. Sometimes the last thing a family member needs to do is explain or correct. Simply staying beside them, listening, and offering reassurance may be enough.
